Would You Please Just Shut Up!!!!

Have you ever been around someone that just won't shut up?

It may be while you're in line at the store, or someone in your own family.  In any case, they start in on something you just don't give a rip about and won't shut their pie hole.

True story:

While waiting in line at a local store, everything was going great.  I had a few items, the line was moving, then it happened.  I heard her coming - she was on her phone, loud, going on and on about something, and came up behind me in line.  At the same time, the cashier turned her blinky light on - you know - the one that means Methusela's mother is in front of you trying to use an expired coupon while searching for two pennies at the bottom of her "pocketbook".  My first thought was, "don't make eye contact with the crazy phone lady" at the same time, I made eye contact with the crazy phone lady.

Immediately I was in the crosshairs, and I looked like a deer in headlights.  OH CRAP!!  "Can you believe that, do you believe that she would pay that much for a pound of ground beef?" - she was talking to me like I knew who she was talking about, and what they were saying.  I was looking at the magazines, praying for God to take me, listening to the lady in front of me telling the cashier, "I know that coupon is good, I cut it out myself last year."  Are you listening God?  Now would be a good time!

So, after reading the front of all the magazines at the register, I've learned my neighbors may be aliens, I definately don't know how to dress fashionably, and someone on some daytime talk show is "coming out" to their significant other.  All the while the crazy phone lady is still going on about how someone doesn't know how to raise their children, and she's thinking about getting her hair colored.  "What color do you think?  I might go for a red kinda brownish something, what do you think?"  She's talking to me?  Really?  I don't know this woman at all, don't want to know her, don't care, but she wants my opinion on hair color.  Thankfully, she was already on to another topic before I had to answer, and getting louder all the time.

Finally, Moses's grandmother, standing in front of me, found her two pennies, and the cashier, completely frustrated, gave in and let her use her coupon, and all was right with the world. WRONG!

By this time, there were more people in line, no other cashier available, so everyone could hear the crazy phone lady going on, and on, and on.  I was starting the heavy sighs while giving her a strained half smile.  The woman behind her was "tsk-ing" loudly.  Crazy phone lady had no clue.  "Oh, I want one of these candy bars, I just don't know which one.  I can't eat nuts, I get all plugged up for a few days, maybe this one with peanut butter, that's butter right, not a nut??"  Obviously, the Lord wasn't coming, so at this point I told her I wasn't really interested in her bowels. 

My turn at the register.  I put my few items on the counter, and crazy phone lady says, "Oh I was just trying to be neighborly, what a snob."  A snob?  A SNOB?  I let the cashier check me out, and as I grabbed my bag I turned and looked right at the crazy phone lady and said, "You call me a snob?  This entire line, this entire store has had to tolerate you talking loud about everything and anything on your stupid phone, I refuse to stand hear and listen to you talk about your bowels.  Would you please just shut up!!."  The line clapped, the cashier clapped, and crazy phone lady left the store.

Maybe if we tell more people to just shut up, the people who feel they have to walk around talking loud on their phones, and those around us who just talk for the sake of hearing themselves talk, may just spread the word that the general public doesn't want to hear them or care what they have to say.

Get a clue people!!